Reconnect with your authentic purpose ~ Soul Nudger
You ever get ready to put your big beautiful project or offer out there that you’ve worked damn hard on only to decide, once again, that you need to check it one more time in case you missed something?
Do find that you constantly compare yourself to another in your field or industry who you think is doing a way better job than you ever could?
You ever feel the need to rethink a decision because the what-ifs starts playing endlessly in your head…what if it nobody likes it…what if it’s all wrong…what if people don’t like me…what if they like it/me and I really have to start showing up…..what if it’s a complete flop….
And invariably you end up with some version of…”‘what does that say about me?” taking over where the what ifs left off.
Here’s the spiral you end up in.
Overthinking leads to doubt….
Doubt leads to second guessing…
Second guessing leads to feelings of failure….
Feelings of failure leads to not trusting yourself.
And, when you doubt yourself and your own abilities on that large a scale, it starts to bleed into how you do your work, if you actually can get to it, that you begin to believe that you will never be successful.
That my friend when you’re in full blown Resistance.
In this month’s posts I’ll be tackling the issue of Resistance, that opposition part of us that shows up in our heads and either slows us down or, even worse, stops us up completely.
Your flow, that you were on a roll with, is definitely being impeded.
Resistance is sneaky and insistent and tenacious.
Constant overthinking and second guessing yourself leads right to The Big R finding a sweet spot to reside in your mind and begin messing with your thoughts.
Being completely unable to make a decision or stand firm in the outcome of a decision helps fuel your resistance to starting or finishing anything.
When my hard core resistance shows up it’s an all out battle for who will win. I fight like crazy to not let resistance take hold. Most times, thankfully, I win. These days I know how to thwart it….by meeting the root of my resistance head on.
When I’m overthinking a thing or 2nd guessing my next move in being visible AND, I recognize it as such, I know it’s time to take a break. No good can come from rehashing something to death. You won’t solve a problem that comes up by staying in the thick of it stirring and squirming and avoiding.
You need fresh eyes and a clearer mind, Step away, if only for a few minutes. Allow yourself the luxury of time.
And before you go back to resolving your issue ask yourself a couple of questions:
Do you have to do it?
i.e. can it be delegated, put on a “do it later” shelf or scrapped all together?
If the answer to the above question is no…..
How can you bring in some ease so that things don’t elevate to a heightened state again?
What can you do this time, and in the future, to ensure that the project or task gets does sans the trip into overwhelm?
What can YOU do differently?
Changing your mindset takes patience and a willingness to stay on that course of change. It also takes an awareness of your own boundaries, a knowing space within you that lets you know when to let a thing go…for a moment, a day or, sometimes as a forever release.
(I talk about taking a different turn in this video)
Remember, resistance is a thing that builds up over time, it’s never a one shot deal happens overnight although it can still make you feel powerless in the midst of it.
But hon,you gotta also know that YOU hold all the power in that game of resistance. You get to choose.
And sometimes the one choice that is sometimes the hardest to make is getting support. Reach out to someone on your resilience team* so you can figure out how to reach in and get off that spinning hamster wheel.
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*I’ll be talking about having a resilience team in next week’s blog post