overwhelm

no more hiding out

clarity

so i'm doing it again.  hiding.  you know....not shining my light.  i know the signs.  nothing gets completed.  tasks are listed and worked on but nothing gets crossed off and i stop showing up online on a regular.  PLUS, it came out in my journal.

i don't know bout you but journaling is my go to for de-stressing { stream of consciousness writing always helps me tap into all sorts of things i'm either not aware of or don't want to face }.

over the past 20+ years i've built up quite a healthy journaling habit, most of it is just recording the events of my days, lil tidbits about me and my family's shenanigans during the week.  

but i have to tell you, sometimes i get this overpowering need to write my thoughts out and this was one of those times.

i wasn't aware on a conscious level what was going on with me but you know how sometimes as we're moving throughout our day we get the feeling that something is off?

that's what i was experiencing.  i was going thru the motions of my day but my head wasn't fully engaged.  although i knew this, i had decided to push thru cause i still had lots of tasks to get accomplished.

not a good decision right? a few days ago .....

all.  engines.  stopped.

my brain went into overload and, strangely enough i found myself tearing up talking to my hubby about a plane ticket.  yup.

twas a strange time and a strange reason to lose it.

got off the phone with him and tried walking around a bit to try to clear my head.

nada.  that didn't work.  

so instead i grabbed my journal, sat on my bed and began writing. at first i was mad at myself and it comes out on the page but as that heightened emotion subsides, my writing heads into journaling my heartwords.  

and this is where the truth of my angst is revealed.

B R E A T H.

it is said that one of the most stressful times you can experience is going thru a big move.  

uh duh!  not only are we moving house but we are moving across the country to the beautiful pacific northwest { whoops! i know for some of you this may come as a complete shock.  call me and we can chat *wink* }.

now the move itself is a good thing { a fantastic, exciting thing for our family truth be told } but my journaling showed me that the stuff and time and energy it takes to pull off this move while still living your life and, in my case, launching a product, not to mention a new website....all of this was getting to me.

one of the easiest things for me to do when this happens is to hunker down in my comfortable spot { inside my house ......that i'm trying to sell btw } and DO NOTHING.

not a good plan.

so this time, now that i'm aware of what's happening i'm going to implement a few things.

first, i usually journal 3-5 times per week. with this move happening, i'm gonna journal every day, a check in of sorts so i can catch things before they go awry again.  

if i don't have a story or event to recall them i'm gonna ask myself 3 questions i recently heard on a podcast { for the life can't remember which one, sorry }.  those questions are:

what worked today?      

what didn't work?       

what's next?

second, i'm going to realistically schedule my tasks for the day, the week.  to get things done i realised that i've overloaded my tasks lists trying to stay ahead of the game.  

no more.  i can only do so much and allowing for down time is essential for a seamless as possible next 3 months of change-your-life activity

third......i'm gonna elicit your help.  yes YOU.   if you're not seeing me more regularly in person or you think i've gone a bit quiet online ...hit me up.  no seriously!!!  

send me a text, a private fb message or even my fb page saying grace...what's up girl?   or "you've gone a bit quiet there....all is good?".  

remember i tend to hide back in the corner where no one can see me but from which place i can still observe the world passing by.

don't let me do it!  please.  

make me own up, show up or crack up over a good joke or story of yours.  help me keep my light shining.  i'm gonna do all i can my end.

thanks y'all G