How to get unstuck and make change happen
In order to make change happen, you need to get comfortable being uncomfortable ~ Soul Nudger
A few posts back I talked about what stuck might look like for you as you work in your business (head over here to read)
Stuck can manifest in a myriad of ways. Each day can be different for you…
☛ overthinking & questioning
☛ constantly doubting your abilities
☛ forever putting off tasks
☛ feeling judged or rejected
☛ unable to make clear decisions
☛ needing things to be “perfect”
One or all of these on repeat can lead to feeling overwhelmed, confused or exhausted (or all 3 at once, yikes!) so that resistance and fear have now become your everyday companions. I say, enough of that!
How will this metamorphosis of change in you take place?
I recently wrote in one of my Lighthouse Letters about bringing more awareness to the things we do each day; to the things we say to ourselves on a daily; to the way we do a thing that has us not living in our light, living from that place of truth.
Listen, most of our habits are so firmly rooted by now that we don’t really take time to think about them, we just do them, by rote. Why? Cause it’s always what we’ve done. This, in and of itself, is the beauty of habits. But it’s also their downfall, when that same habit we do on endless repeat no longer serves us.
So the first thing that needs to happen in order to bring about change is become more aware.
And the BIG thing about being more aware means recognizing what’s truly going on, facing it, and then on the other side of that, allowing for grace and self compassion to come in. You are after all, human, not infallible which means mistakes happen.
Let’s go into this a little deeper.
Mistake, failure or major goof up happens.
Scenario #1: …one you might be familiar with.
Self flagellation with words. Feeling awful. Can’t work. More beating self up…vicious cycle on repeat.
To move beyond these crappy thoughts and minimize the stress of not actually getting any work done, you now need a break and that binge worthy new series is just the thing you need to get out of your slump. Or it might even feel like a good time to sit and scroll the interwebs. Fat chance now, that you’ll get any more work done that moves the needle forward.
Scenario #2: Mistake, failure or major goof up happens.
Intentionally pausing before your inner critic wakes up.
Breathe.
Take stock, ask questions like…..did I really mess EVERYthing up or just a small piece…..what can I do to fix it or turn things around….what exactly went wrong…...what about this went well…etc).
Then, bring in some grace & compassion for being a human who sometimes screws things up.
Take stock again from this perspective.
Learn the lesson. Let go. Move on. Back to work you go.
Know that both of these scenarios are not exactly what you might be experiencing, but I bet a few of the inside bits you’ll recognize in your own habits that keep you stuck.
The second part of making change happen (and one of the ways I work with my clients) is to help them release these old habits that no longer serve them.
We work together to redirect their thinking, brainstorming new ways of working that might include implementing new work systems and daily habits that are more effective for their business and life and doing away with the ones that don’t serve them where they are now.
Scenario #2 might not be something you’ve not allowed yourself to think about. On a deeper, subconscious level though, you know that something needs to change.
Remember, changing long ingrained habits will not always be easy and it will require that you do things differently.
The final component to bringing about change and creating a mindset shift is what I prefer to call….learning the lesson.
To learn the lesson you’ll need to go deeper to find out where these habit came from which will go a long way to explaining why they took hold in the first place.
You’ll need to tap into things you’ve probably been holding on to for a good while, things you might not even be aware of. Know that that’s okay.
Figuring out the why will help to eliminate or at least lessen the crappy thoughts your inner critic loves to throw up at you. In this space of knowing is where you’ll find out what’s really holding you back from doing your work.
One of of the things I know about creating a mindset shift is that in order for the change to take place, you’ll need to “get comfortable being uncomfortable” because that’s where the change we desire takes place and why doing the work makes sense because….
Knowing what went on before helps inform the
change about to take place.
In other words…. knowing your past HELPS inform your future.
Hiding our heads in the sand waiting for the good times to arrive again is a foolhardy mission but, when we don’t know that’s the road we’re on, that’s where we stay, forever hamster wheeling life and wondering why we’re not getting anywhere.
So that trifecta of change includes:
Bring more awareness to your habits
Work on releasing the ones that no longer serve
Find out the deeper meaning, why they took hold.
This is the work I do as a Life Coach. I help women in business who are committed to the work they do and to the people they help, make serious shifts in their thinking that help them get out of their own damn way to show up more boldly.
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Wanna know a secret?
For the month of July I’ve been knee deep in the trenches (aka my office) working on a new group mentorship program that, can I just tell you, I am so fricken excited about!!!
I’m building out the monthly themes, working out the logistics, creating the juicy bits & the deep bits & the fun bits…in other words, getting all the nitty gritty details sussed out.
One of the posters on my wall says “a circle of women may be the most powerful force known to humanity” ~ jeanette leblanc.
I believe this wholeheartedly to the core of my being and have always wanted to create a space for women to dive into their own humanity and come out whole, while being supported by other women doing their own work. It’s what a Circle of Women is all about.
Starting this group mentorship means that eventually I’ll be phasing out the 1:1 coaching I currently do and group coaching will be the only way to work with me.
The thing you need to know now though is that I’ll only be opening up my mentorship program to my Lighthouse Letter peeps FIRST and, for this first go round, I will only be accepting 15 applications.
So, if you’re not yet receiving the Letters you probably better get your booty in gear and sign up so you can be among the first to book your spot when my new Group Mentorship Program goes Live.